Rodrigo Magalhães

Portuguese Technical Translator

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English is spoken everywhere



Non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here are some translation funnies:

Cocktail lounge, Norway
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctor's office, Rome
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
In a Nairobi restaurant
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a Nairobi private school
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
In a Tokyo bar
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Hotel, Zurich
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry in Rome
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
In a Japanese cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Paris hotel elevator
Please leave your values at the front desk
Tokyo hotel
It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not read this notice
Bucharest hotel
The list is being fixed for the next day. During this time you will be unbearable
Leipzig elevator
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up
Athens hotel
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily
Belgrade elevator
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically in national order.
Sarajevo hotel
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid
Moscow hotel
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday
Swiss menu
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for
Hong Kong tailors shop
Ladies may have a fit upstairs
Bangkok dry cleaners
Drop your trousers here for best results
Paris dress shop
Dresses for street walking
Rhodes tailor shop
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation
Hong Kong advert
Teeth extracted by the latest methodists
Rome laundary
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time
Swiss mountain inn
Special today... no ice cream
Copenhagen airline
We take your bags and send them in all directions
Moscow hotel
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it
Norwegian lounge
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar
Tokyo shop
Our nylons cost more than common but they are better for the long run
Acapulco hotel
The manager has personally passed all the water served he